I want my daughter back!
Hello Struggling-Teens team! I am writing you today because I need your help in a very important matter. I longly hesitated before sharing my story on your website then I thought about it and I decided it was worth it if it gives me my daughter back. I am a mother of two twins Amélie and Claudine. Claudine is very shy and reserved, she doesn’t talk much and enjoys silence. She loves to read and writes a lot. Amélie on the other hand is very noisy and energetic. She is very athletic and active. She never stays in place, she has to move around and do something around the house or she’ll drive me crazy. We recently had new neighbors move in next to our house. They have a daughter, Emilie, that dresses very vulgarly. She is loud and disrespectful to her mother, she doesn’t follow any of the rules and I have seen her sneak out from her bedroom window multiple times to go join her boyfriend. I didn’t know this new family or their rules but one thing is sure, I didn’t want their daughter close to my twins. But what I feared most finally happened, Emilie quickly became Claudine’s best friend. They started hanging out together and spending long afternoons at the “library”. It wasn’t scary at first but when Claudine came back home with a tattoo and a piercing one time I realized that things have gone too far. I didn’t recognize her anymore. She would swear and yell at me like she never did before. She was even caught shoplifting at the mall one time. This was not Claudine, this was not my daughter. I decided I had to talk to Emilie’s parents who apologized but said they were not able to control their daughter as well and that they were as lost as I was. I don’t know what to do anymore. I tried grounding Claudine but she doesn’t listen. She would sneak out to go to parties and skip school to hang out with Emilie. Sharing the same house as my own daughter became a living hell. I hope you’ll be able to help me. Thank you.
Hello Madam! Thank you for reaching out to us. We will certainly do our best to help you. Let us start by saying that Claudine’s behavior is normal for a teenager. When they’re young they’re very easy to influence. Maybe Claudine saw in Emilie the complete opposite of what she is. She was tired of always being the perfect daughter that she decided to turn rebellious and be someone else. She thinks that what she is doing is “cool” and will maybe make her more popular at school. However, grounding her and imposing your authority won’t help solve anything. Instead, try talking with her and show her that her transformation is doing her more harm than good. That she is losing who she is to fulfill Emilie’s expectations and that she is literally a “copycat”. Tell her that her originality and her uniqueness make her special and that right now she’s ruining that. If that doesn’t work, try to get Amélie to talk with her. As her twin sister she must have a strong relationship with her that will make her words matter more than yours. But more than anything, give her time and remember that Claudine is at an age where she is discovering herself and that she doesn’t know what kind of person she wants to be, yet. So instead of telling her that she’s being an awful person, give her tips to become a better one. We hope that our advice will help you with your issue and good luck!
The Struggling-Teens team.